WHY GOOD GIRLS REMAIN SINGLE By Nelson Asuen.
In his 10 page book, Nelson highlights why some morally justified, Godly young ladies find it difficult to get a partner. His first reason is that of an entitlement mentality, carried by good ladies who, because they are good, feel they deserve a partner without any further investment. These ones are not interested in being knowledgeable about finances, how relationships work, etc. He further states that being a good person does not absolve one from the consequences of being ignorant about relationships, adding that for every area of life, there are principles that guide it. On entitlement mentality, he concludes that while it is good to be good, being good alone is not enough to get a partner. He also cites lack of self-improvement as another reason. Here, he states that some good ladies have depth in limited areas and so cannot hold intellectual conversations regarding other areas of life such as politics, finance, business , etc. even though such may be so deep in areas regarding prayer and the word. He further addresses the issue of unattractiveness, which he terms as ‘packaging sense’. The good, spiritual lady, even though is doing excellently well by engaging fervently in the things of God, should not neglect her body. Her femininity, he argues, is very important in attracting a man and so, should be maintained by nice makeup, good shape, sweet smell, nice hairdo, cool dress sense etc. It is not only enough to attract a man by these but it is also important to maintain these even while married to the man. He maintains that contrary to the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover”, men are naturally drawn by what they see even before they notice the character, citing the story of Jesus and the fig tree as an example of what impression looks can make even before getting to know the content. He goes ahead to address the issue of over-familiarity in which some good ladies tend to friend zone their male friends, never ever considering that these good friends could become good partners. On the principle of respect, Nelson emphasizes on the value of respect to men, how it is a more serious issue to men than to women and how that respect to men, may simply involve seemingly little things such as the way the lady talks and responds to him, and the way she handles things that matter to him.
He further adds that good guys are not only found in churches but also at events, youth summits, talk shows etc. and so encourage the good girl to develop a social life also. Talking about high standards, he laments the fact that most good girls expect perfection in their potential partner and so ignore even responsible men. He agrees that having high standards is not bad, but these standards should also be realistic, ensuring she goes for the most important qualities.
Nelson finally concludes by telling us about the “runs girls’ mentality the good girl should have. According to him, ‘the runs girl’, known also as the bad girl, takes her time to understand the psychology of a man and how to please her man. She does this knowing that upon getting him, he would then take care of her needs. He maintains that these comparisons are not a call for good girls to become bad, stressing that bad girls usually have low standards and so even though they know how to catch the man, they end up settling for anyone at all, which affects their marriage negatively. He advises ladies never to put marriage ahead of them, but to keep on trusting God despite taking their time to develop themselves, knowing fully well that God has a perfect plan for them that trusts in Him. A lady should not settle for less because of desperation or pressure. While you are waiting, get busy, get a job, further your education, apply principles, live a purposeful life. Just enjoy your life as a single”, he concludes.
IORLUMUN USHAHEMBA,