According to the Cambridge English dictionary, INI- TIMACY is defined as a situation in which you have a close friendship or sexual relationship with someone. This is rather a generic approach to the definition because having intimacy is not fully dependent on sexual encounters. Intimacy is a feeling of being close and emotionally attached and supported. It is being able to express a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences. It involves being open, being vulnerable, showing someone else how you really feel and what your hopes and dreams may be. Intimacy is built over time, and requires patience and effort from both partners to create as well as maintain. Discovering intimacy with someone you love can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of a relationship.  Apart from emotional and sexual intimacy, there exists intellectual, recreational, financial, spiritual and creative Intimacy. Intimacy is achieved when we become close to someone else and are reassured that we are loved and accepted for who we are. Children usually develop intimacy with parents and peers. As adults, we seek intimacy in close relations- hips with other adults, friends, family and with a partner. Intimacy first and foremost is fully dependent on LOVE. Love is a paramount tool in understanding the principles of intimacy both with God, our spouses and during courtship (dating). Intimacy from a psychological perspective is divided into stages which are; Physical intimacy, Emotional intimacy and Intellectual intimacy. These are the main forms of intimacy. An individual with all these attributes is naturally supposed to be the ideal spouse/courtship partner (male or female) but have we ever thought “WHAT’S GOD’S TAKE?”. Having intimacy without knowing God’s dos and don’ts is typically just having “A FORM” of intimacy and not having “INTIMACY”. Hence, there are some important biblical approaches for the sure attainment and mastery of the principles governing intimacy.  We must have heard the saying “GOD IS LOVE”; as trivial as this may sound this serves as the foundation on which love exists (GOD’S LOVE). Love is truly encompassing; with love comes joy, peace, accomplishment, contentment, etc. As beautiful as this should be, when channeled in the wrong direction all we are left with eventually is a FORM of what truly should be. Some individuals within the sphere of dating and courtship have derived sustenance from the affection and intimacy accrued from their partners. It’s only natural that this happens, nonetheless seeing through God’s lens brings about a paradigm shift of how intimacy should be approached. For some months now, I have been praying to understand what love should look and feel like in a relationship driven by God because one time I really felt I loved a particular person but it dawned on me that i was being love-sustained and tried to find love, happiness and fulfillment in this particular person which was actually not supposed to be. Don’t get me wrong! A love-sustained relationship is a relationship bound to last but a love-sustained relationship with GOD being the epicenter of that particular relationship is one that is bound to last a lifetime. When intimacy and love with and for God becomes priority, having intimacy and love towards others becomes easy. In a relationship, the foundation as stated is Love, but is love really enough to hold a relationship? This is where one of the fruits of the spirit comes in PATIENCE.  PATIENCE, is one of the vital fruits of the spirit. Have you ever reasoned why it is called a “FRUIT” and not a “GIFT”? It’s quite simple; fruits take time; from the planting season, to the germinative period and then to the harvesting period. You can say in medical terms it is “ACQUIRED”. Gifts on the other hand are given, there are no processes in- volved just “TAKE”. In medical terms it is “CONGE- NITAL”. The Bottom line is, patience takes time, especially in the area of doing what is right in the sight of GOD. Building intimacy as well as having a God centered relationship takes time and sadly comes with a lot of doubt. We ask ourselves questions like, “is he or she worth the wait?” Or “why is it so difficult to have everything figured out in this relationship?” Or “why does the relationship feel one sided?” etc. You know what? You know what? everything that happened or that will happen in a marriage driven and God centered relationship is supposed to happen be it good or bad. Galatians 5 vs 22-23 speaks about the fruits of the spirit and in this scripture, patience was substituted for long-suffering. Hence, patience/long-suffering is not always a pleasant wait but in view of the acquisition of something durable, you will realize that it was always worth the wait. Self-Control; two important words are used here SELF and CONTROL.  Self, is said to be one’s consciousness of his or her identity while Control means discipline in personal and social activities. Putting these words together, Self-Control is the conditioning of oneself to master one’s desires and impulses. For grown-ups in relationships, one of the major forms of intimacy is “Physical Touch”. As innocent as this statement might appear, it has led a lot of young believers’ captives to sin because of the very lack of self-control. Most individuals love physical touch; they love the hugs, the kisses, and absolutely love the cuddles. This is because it is when they feel truly in sync with their partner but when testosterone and dopa- mine levels rise, the question is, are they able to control it? Self-control makes relationships more God centered.  One of the important and my personal favorite when it comes to a long lasting and meaningful relationship is Good Communication. Communication is key; very “KEY”. It is an intricate part of any relationship and it serves as a medium for a deeper form of intimacy. Communication cuts across every form of intimacy be it, physical, financial, spiritual; just name it. Communication breaks unspoken barriers and solidifies relationships by building trust, vulnerability as well as transparency in the relations- hip.  In conclusion, it is paramount to see through the lens of God in all things and our relations- hips and forms of intimacy shouldn’t be different.  

Alagba Joshua Ebiduowei